I’m just about at 50lbs weight lost and counting. Patients are asking “How did you do that?” Simple question, yes – complex answer.
The first step was deciding. I’ll spend this blog on the complex process of deciding, of committing to losing weight, a lot of weight, maybe even over 100lbs of weight, so much weight that I would rather not measure how much weight I actually had to lose. Some things started the process of deciding.
- My teen kids asked me to get in shape to do more with them. They were serious and concerned.
- I noticed huffing and puffing doing even minor activities.
- My knees ached with weather changes, a sign of inflammation. Patients who had lost a lot of weight had the problem go away.
- I preferred sitting to doing – that did not use to be my nature.
- I always avoided pictures because I seemed to look fatter in them than in my own mirror (which I avoided too).
But I had not decided.
Facing my pants: Then my pants became impossible. Buttons popped. I did not want to buy 46 waist pants but I had to. They don’t have those on the rack in most stores.
That helped me decide. I had to order from a catalogue.
Facing the scale: So I said to myself ”well – let’s see how big a chore you have to take on.” I had not been weighing because the scale was mean to me. Silly little brain game we play. Those of us carrying extra weight put it on more easy than we lose it so we hate the scale. I avoided it like the plague.
I knew I was in the high 200lb range.
Shock: I lie - It was over 300! 26 pounds crept up on me. That number told me I was at more risk than I thought. And began a thought process that whatever I was doing WAS NOT WORKING. And something had to change and for a long time – for life.
I knew I needed to decide to get serious.
Facing friends, family: The voices from my aunt, friends, family especially my children haunted me. They wanted me around. I wanted to be around for grandchildren and the next phases of life.
Facing patients: My size had always been something I joked about.
- I had always been chubby I told others. Since I was 5.
- I liked food. I like to eat, I liked to cheat. I made a joke about it.
- I was not responsible – I put on 10lbs doing WeightWatchers several years ago. I cheated. I did not measure. I did not write down. I did not do whatever I was instructed to do to be successful.
- I could always find excuses.
Several patients expressed concern. A rule in practice is that if one patient complains, 10 want to say the same thing. I was not “walking the walk” of health.
Facing myself: In avoiding the truth, that the good feeling of food is short lived, I put on more weight. At 316lbs I had the big wake-up call. Fat people were over 300lbs. Sick people, sick patients were that weight. I reflected on what I saw in practice and I was living the same thing. The same aches, the same lethargy… the same risks but denying it.
I watched Ruby on TV and saw the struggle with much greater weight loss and that facing oneself was as big or bigger part of the process.
Deciding: One day I decided. I felt fat. I looked fat. The 46 inch pants were getting tight. The XXL shirts were getting tight. Buttons were popping. I DECIDED.
Re-committing: Like a smoker that successfully quits I knew that every waking minute I had to be focused. I had to decide and re-decide, to recommit every day. To help myself I did the opposite of whatever I had been doing:
- I used WeightWatchers online to track my food and activity. I never did that before.
- If I cheated, I made myself a rule that a) I would not cheat again the next day and b) that I had only the points allowed on the Weightwatcher system i.e. celery for dinner if it had to be.
- I surrounded myself with healthy stuff – junk was gone, ice-cream gone -things that were quick, easy and BAD for me were gone. There was fruits, vegetables, almonds, non-fat yoghurt and cottage cheese all around. And water, iced tea… all within arms reach at home and at the office.
- I knew there would be challenges, plateaus and disappointment. I reminded myself to plod on, to trudge through it and keep working at it and above all NOT STOP once decided.
Prior Failings: Most of us who have lost weight, lost some and put it back on. It worked that way for me. This time I’ve kept changing and mixing things up to keep my focus. I change activity and programs to . On one of the next blogs I’ll discuss the mental games I’ve played for my personality.
You can do it too: None of what I’ve been through will work for everyone else, but if it can help someone else, I’d be happy it might help. First you have to decide.
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